The five magic words that any guy with a decent boner and understands the basics of the English language would want to hear from any woman with a vagina and two shotguns on her chest. That's the hard truth to face, but not hard to understand! There are many variations to this simple equation, but basically: dick + pussy = pleasure (unless he cums quicker than he thinks). Another variation is: dick + pussy = preggers (holy fuck nuts in deed). But, like I said; I'm not good in maths.
Aint this boring? This year? Admit it, you were expecting this year to be awesome, but it's a little too...fair, like the soft porn movies on late night Mnet Action (usually 00:00am on Friday nights) and like the actors we are faking the happiness this year is ejaculating amongst us. But, the year doesn't appreciate fakers, soon it will bite one of us in the ass, none of that kinky vampire roleplay shit, too, I'm talking hardcore rabbies (however the fuck you spell it).
Okay, another thing I wanna bitch about is; who forgot to put a leash on cupid this year? He's like a Native American who thinks we are gay cowboys! Why is everyone in-love? Okay, maybe I'm being mean since I blew my chances like a male pornstar shooting his load, but geez, where the fuck is my love? People like me get volatile when they are left to deal with things with a magazine and right hand band.
I think we should all take a dildo and stick it on those political posters that we see on every lamp post and traffic light on the main roads. Forgive me (or not), but I think I'm gonna tear off all of them (Helen Zille, Jacob Zuma etc), take a lovely dump on them and send them back to their official parties as a pre-election present.
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