What Do You See?

If you're reading this; you're probably expecting my usual selected words that remove the demure off a woman like a liquefying stripper artisticly whispering the clothes off her body. Not your everyday stripper. But hey, I'm not here to do so, neither am I going to discuss my stripper experiences, no.

Ever wake up one day, feeling secluded in as many ways possible, even sexually? You wished that there would be someone, someone to go down on every desire, to surf through your heart deep like an orgasmatron? Too many lonely nights, and soon your heart starts to feel naked...it's just not right.

Some people have fantasies and wet desires, but can't share them. You wake up one day, nude and you look out your window, you'll see the world is yearning for what we most desire to evoke...the same thing you just woke up for.

Makes you wonder who made up these fucking rules. It's a cage; the world we live in, with golden bars and enough lube to jerk ourselves off for another thousand centuries. Some people are embarrased of their provocative nature and salacious desires, but don't realise that the vivacious fantasies we intoxicate ourselves under are the same, even from the past.

Did you know, Cleopatra used a box of bees as a vibrator when there was no Anthony to fuck her during those Egyptian nights. In the Victorian Era, doctors would make vibrators to treat women with hysteria (I guess God did save the Queen). Men have been jerking themselves off since the wheel was invented (disturbingly true).

Just look out your window one day, sit in a cafe, or walk in a busy street and tell me what you see?

"Shut Up and Fuck Me!"

The five magic words that any guy with a decent boner and understands the basics of the English language would want to hear from any woman with a vagina and two shotguns on her chest. That's the hard truth to face, but not hard to understand! There are many variations to this simple equation, but basically: dick + pussy = pleasure (unless he cums quicker than he thinks). Another variation is: dick + pussy = preggers (holy fuck nuts in deed). But, like I said; I'm not good in maths.

Aint this boring? This year? Admit it, you were expecting this year to be awesome, but it's a little too...fair, like the soft porn movies on late night Mnet Action (usually 00:00am on Friday nights) and like the actors we are faking the happiness this year is ejaculating amongst us. But, the year doesn't appreciate fakers, soon it will bite one of us in the ass, none of that kinky vampire roleplay shit, too, I'm talking hardcore rabbies (however the fuck you spell it).

Okay, another thing I wanna bitch about is; who forgot to put a leash on cupid this year? He's like a Native American who thinks we are gay cowboys! Why is everyone in-love? Okay, maybe I'm being mean since I blew my chances like a male pornstar shooting his load, but geez, where the fuck is my love? People like me get volatile when they are left to deal with things with a magazine and right hand band.

I think we should all take a dildo and stick it on those political posters that we see on every lamp post and traffic light on the main roads. Forgive me (or not), but I think I'm gonna tear off all of them (Helen Zille, Jacob Zuma etc), take a lovely dump on them and send them back to their official parties as a pre-election present.

The One That Got Away (part 2)

This is a sequal to my lively exploits. I don't know how it came to this. I was randomly invited to Menlyn Mall, the place I so deeply loathe, by my buddies. Got a call at 3pm asking me to tag along in their hopes of meeting new women...oh god, why me?

It was pretty fun for an extremely overrated mall. I met a lot of people I knew from my old schools and shit...but I aint gonna talk about the basics. I'm talking about the one that wanted to be a part of me at that moment, that time, that part of my life for afew mintutes, but turned away.

I don't know what came to me...I just had a risque' conversation with a beautiful woman. Shorter than me, but her words made me want to do things to her...salacious things. I wasn't in the mood of meeting new people, but the moment we had was like, sex over a conversation. Like filming a porno with good actors. She told me her dark secrets, her personal G-spot (not down there), what she wants a guy to do to her.

The conversation was getting somewhere...she wanted me to kiss her, but I didn't. I don't know why, but I wanted to. I was about to, I was even feeling her body, she moaned with pleasure, then said she has to go (even before I did anything). I tried to stop her from leaving, but my words never worked and I found myself a lonely soul with nothing but a cigarette to soathe my needs.

I wasn't offended, I was happy in a sense. A woman who can keep her moral grounds, a woman who can leave me with my imagination. Imagination is a dying art, like foreplay. People give it up easily (men and women), they don't leave another wondering...it's all pussy, boobs and ass. It's too easy. What happened to class, what happened to sexual respect? I tell you, that's a turn on.

I have nothing more to say about my runaways...

Oh, Promiscuous World...

"An orgasm a day keeps the doctor away." - Mae West

We have habits...all of us. We have fucked up habits, especially when it deals with love. Love...for some odd reason, people ask us what love is...in all honesty, we don't fucking know. I am glad no one knows, it would ruin the mystery for me completely.

I aint talking purely on the basis of salacious activities that our bodies desire. The intimacy that we so desperately try to hold on to and do things we have never ever done before. I am talking about love to you motherfuckers out there...all of you!

We all have it, that person we love all so desperately, but we are too hard headed to admit the fact, because it feels like pure anal rape in those prison showers (you can't drop the soap). I fucking hate love, it makes me wanna get drunk and for get about it, but drinking only thickens the thought. It swirls around you like venom in your blood stream...you don't want it, but you won't let go of it.

Maybe I'm just talking shit, which I always do, but my shit is the truth! I'm not gonna accept love yet, I would rather wait till I can open my heart, like Sharon Stone and her legs from that scene in Basic Instinct...which was fucking hot, I might add.

We are all lost, searching for the next best thing in our pathetic lives, but you think you never gonna find it...well, you're wrong. We always find that oppertunistic part of our lives and we grab it. It comes continously. You gotta be a soldier in this promiscuos world. You gotta learn to control the world's sex drive and choose when to say, "I want some!"

Thoughts...Dark Thoughts.

Nothing sinister, their just thoughts. Thoughts that might make me the bitch of a prisoner named Butch. Thoughts that will make me a nuisance to the general public. Thoughts that might get me exiled. Just thoughts...

I sat there looking at her, as she spoke with a tone of risqué. Not the type of lady I would find myself painting the town red with, but the type of woman I would most certainly find myself sitting across the dinner table with, at seven in the morning, listening to the awkard silence caused by the previous nights events. My coffee: probably warm, taking sips that echo around the atmosphere...definitely awkward.

This is all just a thought as her voice became nothing than a background dialogue, like an extra pretending to have a conversation in a sitcom. My thoughts were the ones guiding my eroticized eyes on her...on her body. The things that I can, but can't imagine doing. Reason being; it's just not right.

A great woman once said: "When modern woman once discovered the orgasm, it was combined with birth control, perhaps the biggest single nail in the coffin of male dominance."

We all have people we wanna knock heads with, but for the time being, we are able to control the salacious minds we poison and restrain our sexual weapons.

Like I said, just thoughts...

Sexual Terrorism...

How to Identify a sexual terrorist:
1) You have a connection.
2) They give you a tingle down there.
3) They leave you wanting more.
4) You tend to find yourself imagining a sexual scenario with them.

We are losing the war on terror! I don't mean the one with the guns and the people with beards etc. I mean the one with the women who make wanna imagine shit.

I find myself a victim of some hardcore salacious terrorism. This is a threat that no man could prepare for. It took me by suprise.
We all know that feeling. It's not a person you find yourself dreaming about the future with. It's the person you find wanting to bump heads with.

She could dance. The music from the background moved her body in many ways that can't be explained. Slow, sexual and alluring. I was pretty much undressing this woman with my eyes wide open, before she helped herself. Flexible; her legs did the split, I always fancied myself as a leg person, not really into cleavage, but I made an erotic exception. She didn't make any eye contact, she just watched herself in the mirror, her body did all the talking.

She moved backward, taking slow steps towards me, she turned around and whispered something in my ear.......

To Be or Not To Be (A sex worker)...

That is the million dollar question we ask ourselves...literally, the sex game is a multi-million dollar business (high five to the pimps and hoes out there!).
I really don't know why people fuss about selling sex. Sex is what every 40 year old virgin bargains for when they sit at home exercising their right arm muscles while they look at some..."videos" on the web...the same web that gives us Cartoon Network and the weather for the day. I dare you to go to Google and type in; fellatio (yes, right now).
If you got balls and a clit, you would type it in and take in the results, having the pictures engraved in that lost mind of yours.
If you are a pussy, you would read on thinking you are better then the people who typed it in. Well my anal loving friend, you are just asking for some fellatio or a cunnilingual sensation to lurk on the "South Side".

Seriously, why is sex such a taboo. It's a forbidden topic. Not that I don't like "forbidden", but some people want to have a handjob in peace and not have to worry about how awkward the next church service might blossom to be. I have sympathy for priests and nuns...I do.

You gotta earn cash, whether it be working the windows in Red Light District, or appearing in the videos next to a bad actor who happens to be hung like a moose (he wouldn't be in the movie if he was a 3inch rock 'n rolla). Let a hoe be a hoe, no one is judging.